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Proactive vs. Reactive Healing

When I came back from my first week of Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training in Mallorca, Spain a few weeks ago with Guru Jagat and Harijiwan, a friend asked me how I was doing. The truth was I felt absolutely incredible, happier than I had ever been, more at peace than I can ever remember and more aligned than I ever imagined I could be. I was literally high on life and my own supply. I shared that with her and then paused and said: “It’s odd, it’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop,” like this feeling was too good to be true.

There was this unexpected fear that something would go wrong, because it always had in the past. I was conditioned to believe that all good things came to an end and that this feeling would not last.

I talk a lot about the death and rebirth cycles of life, and how during the rebirth phase, we’re high on life, aligned and everything seems to be falling into place, and then the death phase hits you out of left field and you’re often left crippled and trying to dig yourself out of the ditch.

And I realized at that point that I was not the same person I was before I went to this training. Yes, I had always had a daily healing practice that included meditation, Kundalini Yoga and more, but my practice had been mostly reactionary and sporadic at best. When something came up or the death phase creeped up on me, I would turn to the tools in my toolbox to get myself out of the muck. I would react as situations triggered me and wounds came up for me to heal.

Before this training, the highs would feel amazing, and the lows would be the other extreme. I was constantly jumping from positive to negative mind, attaching myself to those moments of happiness and positivity, and when the negative mind took over, I would look for the next fix to get me back to the positive.

What changed and shifted after this training was that I now have a disciplined, proactive practice that is clearing my subconscious clutter and reprogramming my brain before anything is even able to surprise me. I’m no longer waiting for the “other shoe to drop” for me to do the work. I’m way ahead of the matrix and proactively repatterning my neurons before any of these “lessons” bite me in the rear. I am no longer a slave to my own neurosis and thoughts.

Through my daily practice, which includes me getting up at the wee hours of morning between 3:00 - 6:00 am (trust me there’s a method to my madness!), taking a cold shower and doing my Kundalini practice, I no longer get stuck in a vortex of my own stories and beliefs.

You see one of the secrets to leading a happy life is to be proactive in your healing work without giving in to the subconscious patterns that we’re trying to reprogram in the first place through our practice (oh the irony!).

Through daily proactive clearing work, I’ve learned to just accept, allow and receive whatever comes my way, trusting that, if I’m aligned, whatever is occurring in my life is happening in my highest and best. And that my dears is what true freedom is all about!

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© 2020 Carine Sroujian